


Five Times Tyler Lied About Why He Has A Beard

by tillyenna



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Beard Burn, Beards (Facial Hair), Chirping, Crack, Dallas Stars, Locker Room, M/M, Not Beta Read, Playoff Beards, Rimming, jyler benn, tyler seguin is a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22425289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillyenna/pseuds/tillyenna
Summary: Fives Times Tyler Lied About Why He Has A Beard, And One Time The Stars Found Out The TruthErm, so, this fic is influenced by a lot of things:1. Watching so many videos of Tyler Seguin fiddling with his damn facial hair, like seriously, he never stops touching it. He's constantly chewing on his own face, or scratching his own face.... like seriously, why doesn't he shave.2. My husbands many excuses as to why he doesn't shave his damn face.3. I really hate beards. That probably isn't clear for this fic. I would put up with beard burn from Segs though...4. I'm avoiding writing my long stuff, and there's nothing like procrastinating writing by doing more writing5. I thought aleksrothis might appreciate a stars fic. :-D preseeeeennnnt
Relationships: Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 210





	Five Times Tyler Lied About Why He Has A Beard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aleksrothis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleksrothis/gifts).



“I can’t do this!” Klinger yelled as the media walked out of the locker room. 

The entire team turned to stare at him in amazement, it wasn’t like John to hate the media that much. 

“I can't do another year of watching Segs scratch at the stupid bum-fluff on his face that he clearly hates so much. Shave it!” He roared at Tyler. 

Absentmindedly, Tyler reached up to scratch at his beard, “What’s your problem with my face?” He grins up. 

Klinger sighs dramatically as he pulls his shirt over his head, “You chew on it, you scratch at it and pull on it constantly, it’s obvious it irritates you, it’s not playoffs, just get rid of it!”

Tyler shrugs obnoxiously, “I mean, it’s part of my image now.” He’s stripped completely by this point, grabbing his towel and flicking it over his shoulder, completely not caring who saw his junk. “It’s my face, I can do what I like with it.”

\---

It’s a week before the others start noticing it. “I mean,” Pavs sighs, “I never noticed it until Klinger brought it up, but now all I see is you chewing on your facial hair, all the fucking time man.”

Tyler shrugged, “And?”

“And you clearly hate it.”

Tyler doesn’t even try to deny it, “I have very sensitive skin, and it’s too much for me to shave it every day.”

“Man, I feel you,” Pavs nods seriously, “We gingers have it worse with the sensitive skin, right Benny?”

Jamie is staring at his feet, “I’m refusing to take part in this conversation.”

“All I’m saying,” Pavs continues, “Is it’s manageable, you need to get a good old fashioned cream, not of this modern shaving foam, something you need to get a good lathering brush for.”

Tyler snorts, “Way too much fucking effort man,” He runs a hand across his face, fingertips catching, “It’s just easier this way.”

\---

After that, it becomes a regular chirping topic, calls of “Shave it!” ring out across the locker room, every time Tyler chews on his mustache, or scratches at it when it itches him.

“It grows too fast,” Tyler grumbles good naturedly in response, “I’d have to do it every day, and I just don’t have time for that in the morning.”

He gets teased for being lazy, of course he does, but he bears it with good cheer, and nobody notices the wink he throws Jamie as he runs his hand across his jaw line.

\---

Eventually, it’s Jamie who snaps. “Will you lot stop it.” He says, tearing down the paper stuck to Tyler’s stall, it’s a list of pros and cons of Tyler’s facial hair, the cons list is very full - the pros list is completely empty. “Tyler is allowed to do what he wants with his face.”

The chirping starts immediately, “You can’t protect him just because he’s your boyfriend,” Roope grins across the room at him.

“That is not what this is about.” Jamie glares, the ‘don’t stick up for Tyler just because you’re banging him’ rule was one he took pretty seriously, like Jamie didn’t take all rules seriously. “This is about bodily autonomy, and I would stick up for any of you to be allowed your own bodily autonomy.”

“Eh,” Fedun shrugs, “It’s not like we’re pinning him down and shaving it off him.”

“It’s just so clear he hates it.” Pavs adds in

“He’s never said that.” Jamie sulks back to his own stall. 

“He’s also never denied it.” Pavs chirps back. “Con number 14, you hate it.” he quotes from the list.

“I hate you more though.” Seggy grins as he wonders in from the shower, “And right now, my number one reason for keeping it is how much you fuckers all hate it.” He laughs, like the jerk he is.

Later, as the boys are filing out, he ambles over to Jamie, standing in between his thighs, speaking softly so only the captain can hear him. “It’s not going anywhere.”

Jamie looks up at him, soulful brown eyes meeting his, “I know I shouldn’t take it so hard,”

Tyler leans down, whispering in Jamie’s ear, his beard scratching along the sensitive skin just at the top of Jamie’s neck, “Don’t worry babe, they won’t find out.”

“Oi,” Pavs calls across to them, “No foreplay in the locker room.”

Tyler stands with a laugh, “Getting jealous there Pavs?”

\---

“Why don’t you just grow it longer,” Hanzal asks one day, stroking his own impressive facial hair, “It itches less when it’s longer you know.”

Tyler laughs, “Yeah, but then I’d look like a real Benn, and Mama Benn would adopt me for real, and I’d have to change my name to Jyler, and that just isn’t happening.”

The snorts of laughter that ring out across the locker room are worth it for that one. Even if he does get called Jyler for a week.

\---

Perhaps he was more careless than usual, perhaps Jamie is wearing slightly shorter briefs than usual, he’s not sure. Still, it is of course Pavs who notices.

“What the hell happened to your leg Benny?”

Jamie glances down, before seeing what his teammate is talking about and grabbing a towel to throw across his lap, “Nothing.” He stammers, the blush streaking across his cheekbones, always so damn visible, always such a tell, letting his teammates know when he’s lying.

“Dude, I think you’re bleeding,” Pavs has no concept of personal space, and no concept of inappropriate behaviour when he grabs the towel and shoves his head in between his captain’s thighs.

“Fuck off…” Jamie squeaks, shoving him backwards roughly, luckily he’s got his height and weight advantage, as well as the motivation, and it’s not long until Joe is sprawling across the floor and Jamie is fleeing towards the showers, mostly because he can hide there.

Pavs looks around the room, confused for a moment, until he notices Segs, sat in his stall, vibrating with silent laughter, tears flowing down his cheeks.

“What the fuck?”

Tyler just shakes his head, and goes after his captain.

Pavelski has no sense of self preservation either, so he corners them both when Jamie has calmed down enough to return to the locker room, “Did Segs give you the clap?” He asks bluntly.

“What?” Jamie squeaks, “No!”

“Besides,” Tyler shrugs, utterly unashamed, “That ain’t what the clap looks like.”

Jamie just shakes his head, reaching for his clothes.

“You show you have no game Pavs,” it’s Radu that’s chirping him, and Pavs looks at him in confusion.

“How does this show that I’m the one with no game.”

Radu shrugs, “I think with your face, you should know what beard burn look like?”

Pavs looks in horror between Segs and the Captain, “But….but… but…” he stammers, “But they’re gay!”

The entire room turns to look at him, confusion visible on nearly every face.

“Like,” he carries on, “Can you even give someone beard burn from sucking their cock?”

There’s one or two snorts of laughter, but Seggy completely loses it, his giggles spilling forth until he can’t stand any more, tears once again flooding down his face, “No,” he spills out breathlessly, “No you can’t.”

“So how does…” Pavs starts, and then his brain catches up with him, and this time it’s a look of horror that flashes across his face, “Well that’s an image I didn’t need.” he says eventually, stumbling back to his stall in horror.

Jamie just sits there, face such bright red it’s probably visible from outer space.

“Well,” its Klinger that eventually breaks the awkward silence. “At least now we know why Segs won’t shave his beard.”

\---

It’s mid playoffs, and whilst the boys love their beards, it’s getting clear to some of them that their wives and girlfriends don’t.

“Jesus,” Miro sits down, still on his phone, “I told you, I don’t know.”

There’s yelling on the other end of the phone, “I know it’s my fault,” he admits sheepishly, “That doesn’t mean…” he pauses, and then, “Give me one minute yah?”

Holding the phone to his chest, he calls across the locker room, “Benny, I need some Captainly advice.”

Jamie is on his feet in half a second, walking over, “Anything buddy,”

“What is best to do for,” he scratches at his playoff stubble, “The beard burn yes?”

Jamie can feel his cheeks heating up, but he is nothing if not helpful, even when he’s so embarrassed he can barely stammer out his answer. “Aloe vera gel.” his answer is low, but genuine.

Tyler raises an eyebrow at him across the room,

“What?” Jamie grins at him, and for a second, it feels like there’s no-one else in the room, “Even I get tired of it sometimes.”


End file.
